sobriquet.net

What is it with phone companies? Do any of them actually know what they’re talking about? I’ve been on a “journey” over the last year or so and have become a telecommunications company nomad. I’m currently with 3, but have gone through all the major phone companies throughout my journey, and have had problems with every single one (well, almost all of them).

Phone Plan 1: Optus Pre-Paid

I first got a phone with Optus pre-paid soon after I finished year 12. After a few weeks, I lost the phone. Going well so far? Still - I’ve only myself to blame for that. My major phone company problems came later.

Phone Plan 2: Optus Contract

My experience with Optus was, on the whole, quite good. Partly due to the fact that I was on an excellent plan (it was a $35/month contract, with calls costing only 18c/30sec), I stayed with Optus for a number of years. Sure, there were one or two minor problems - when I went overseas with my mobile, I’d be told that calls I made would come out of my included calls. When I got back, however, I discovered that was not the case. A short phone call to Optus, however, got it all sorted out - they credited my account with the difference. No hassle, no arguing - just good customer service.

Phone Plan 2b: Continued with Optus (out of contract)

I’d done so well with Optus so far, and when my contract expired and it came time to see what else was available, I found no better deals than what I already had with Optus. So, I continued - but bought myself a new handset (outright)! Still, I had no problems with Optus - in fact, they “rewarded” me by giving me an EXTRA $11 of credit per month just for staying with them out of contract.

I still laugh when I think about the poor telemarketers who used to call me trying to get me to change plans (most of them from Optus, funnily enough) - I’d simply tell them I was paying $35/month, and receiving $41 worth of calls at 18c/30sec. They’d soon realise they had no hope of converting me!

Phone Plan 3: Telstra / FoneZone

Of course, that’s when I had to start playing with fire. I took the plunge… into the “big pond” which seemed to have a drain pipe which lead directly to hell. I joined Telstra. I moved to Telstra for one reason: I found a handset I liked that only Telstra sold. Needless to say, Telstra sucked. Right from the start, I got screwed around - I had to visit the store three times just to order my phone (and, interestingly - never actually signed a contract)! And it got worse - rather than signing me up on a $100 plan including data (so I could check my emails, and browse the web from my phone), they signed me up for a $100 phone plan, PLUS a $100 data plan (that $200/month!). After months of arguing (with thanks to the TIO) I managed to cancel my contract, and send the handset back with no further commitment.

Pity about the handset (it was nice), but on the positive side, there was a new model (a 3G phone, called the iMate Jasjar) that came out soon after I managed to “break up” with Telstra (it’s not me, it’s you!).

Phone Plan 4: Virgin

So, I bought the new phone, and temporarily signed up with Virgin. Funnily enough, these guys were actually good (kinda puts a dampener on the whole “idiot phone company” thing), even though I was only with them for a couple of months. Problem was, I just bought a 3G phone, and needed a 3G network to go with it.

Phone Plan 5: Vodafone

At the time, “3″ and Telstra were the only 3G networks, but both refused to connect any phone they didn’t sell to their network. Soon afterwards, Vodafone launched their 3G network, so… I connected to them. Of course, finding out if I could sign up with Vodafone was a bit of a task. I have a whole transcript of an email conversation with Vodafone when I tried to work out what their policy was on non-Vodafone supplied phones. They seemed to have a problem with answering “yes/no” questions with a straight answer. Is it possible that Vodafone’s service could be worse than Telstra’s? Of course, it didn’t end there. Two TIO complaints later, I’m almost free of them (I believe I still owe them about 20c).

Complaint 1 with Vodafone involved a series of premium SMS’ being charged to my account which I’d never requested. Now, surely a simple issue like this could be easily resolved by simply calling Vodafone and explaining, right? Wrong. After a number of failed attempts (including various people telling me that I still had to pay, or that I must have requested the “services”), I resorted to contacting the TIO again. Strangely, as soon as I’d talked to the TIO, Vodafone were more receptive, and immediately cancelled the charges.

Not long after that (actually, the problem already existed, but I only became aware of it later), I started receiving massive amounts of data charges on my bill. Now, Vodafone’s default way of charging for data usage is by charging you in 5 minute (or part thereof) blocks. So, a single internet connection costs you $1/5mins - even if you don’t download much. This in itself was not a problem - but when I started examining my bills, and discovered that these data charges were occurring every time my phone downloaded an MMS (which, funnily enough, should not be charged!), I started to get a little suspicious. 5 Months (that is, after I complained), and $304 worth of data charges later, they finally admit they made a mistake. Oh, but not before I had to go through the TIO again…

Phone Plan 6: “3″

I discovered recently that 3 had changed their policy about allowing non-3 (but 3G compatible, like my Jasjar) handsets on their network. Of course, in typical phone company style, this information was not easy to come by. I had fun one day in the city (where there seems to be a 3 store on every corner) dropping in to various stores, and asking them about this policy - I think I managed to visit 4 different stores before I got the same answer from 2 of them - of course, this answer was wrong anyway! I finally managed to find a store just a few weeks ago which actually thought it might be worth reading their contract’s conditions before answering a question they didn’t know the answer to.

Still, with the problems I’d been having with Vodafone, and given 3’s excellent cap plans ($29/month, with $20 minimum spend!), I couldn’t resist. The prospect of another idiot phone company was bearable, as long as I wasn’t paying a premium rate for the privilege.

So, one afternoon I prepared myself for the worst, and went down to my local 3 store (in Westfield Doncaster) to port my number over, and get a new SIM card. Less than 30 minutes later, I was on my way home - with a bag of information (including a signed contract - something Telstra never gave me!) and a SIM card. They had made it clear that they couldn’t guarantee that my handset would be compatible, and I knew that there’d be certain features (such as MMS) that I couldn’t use on their network, but I walked out a happy man. It was, by far, the easiest transition I’ve made between phone companies - and if you haven’t gathered by now, I’ve had my fair share! I’m still amazed at 3’s customer service (well, actually, it was Chris’ customer service. My previous experiences with other 3 stores left me with a different impression. Thanks, Chris!). While the service wasn’t anything spectacular, it was far from the treatment I’d received elsewhere. I actually felt like a valued customer, not just someone who’s come into the store to ruin my break.

Sure, I have yet to receive my first bill from 3, and I’m continually surprised that nothing’s gone terribly wrong so far, but (knock on wood), it seems that I’ve found a phone company I could be happy with - until next time, anyway…